FF Affair

My FF affair is giving me all kinds of pain known to man. Ouch. Is this a case of “no pain, no gain”? Grrr. Well, atleast my legs are getting toned and shaped. 

Whoa, Simabang Gabi na later. I oh so missed the old days na talaga. It’s been five months and I still feel like everything just happened yesterday. Having a retentive memory is, sometimes, not to my advantage. Shit, I still have the “December Gala” folder in my old U600 phone. My reason for not deleting such was that I told myself that everytime I become happy, I’ll delete one. I guess, I ain’t that happy that is why I haven’t deleted any. 

But don’t get me wrong, I have already moved on. In fact, career wise, I think, I made a milestone for myself. Most of my batchmates are envious of my work. Tsk. Only if they knew how tear jerking and tiring the tasks are. On matters of the heart, I no longer yearn for that one person I thought or I still want to spend ever after. I am just plain thankful for the whole experience. I have moved on, but I am yet to let go of the wonderful memories. 

Confused? I am too. 

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Right after blogging the first part, I logged out of my lappie to sleep. But just when I ws about to go close my eyes, I saw my anti-depressant bottle given almost a year ago. Out of katangahan and all, I read those notes again. December 23 note hit me—the same amount of pain everytime I had to go transfusion. There, cry fest to the max. I am so tired of pretending to be strong physically and emotionally.  Realizations hit me again. I am now convinced that I must take all the blame. I overlooked the efforts.Kept asking for more. It was I who became complacent. I am sorry. Yes, you’re right. You are to forgive me and not otherwise.